The Protein Problem (a.k.a. The Yogurt Experiment That Shook My Family)

My doctor says I need more protein.
Which is fair. I mostly eat like a Victorian child recovering from illness—toast, tea, and whatever soft food doesn’t offend my very particular body.

The Problem?

• Meat: Too chewy. Too… meaty. Sometimes I just can’t.
• Fish: Smells like guilt and cleaning the kitchen.
• Eggs & dairy: Straight-up sabotage.
• Protein recipes online: 95% “Quick High-Protein Snack Ideas!” and 95% “Just eat a hard-boiled egg with cottage cheese!”

Not helpful, Brenda.

Meanwhile, my son (yes, the one who lives in denial of his own food allergies and once unleashed milkshake-based destruction upon a family vacation) has been pushing me to “just try” yogurt.

“Greek yogurt is low in lactose,” he says.
“You might not react,” he says.
“It’s basically health pudding,” he says.

In theory, yes. In practice, dairy = migraines. Not “oh no, a headache,” but “see you in five days; I’ll be in a dark room questioning my life choices.”

But I’m tired. I want something easy. Something protein-y.

The Experiment

So tonight, while my husband and daughter ate leftovers, I sat down with a bowl of plain Greek yogurt and some gluten-free, cane sugar–free granola.

It looked normal. Innocent, even.

My daughter, mid–soup slurp, froze.
“What are you eating, Mom?”
“Yogurt and granola,” I said—casual, like I hadn’t just broken a sacred family covenant.
“Real yogurt?? …Why?”

She stared at the bowl like it might lunge at her. And honestly? Same.

Outcome TBD

Here I am: fingers crossed. Hoping this “Maybe Greek yogurt is the exception” experiment doesn’t end in a five-day migraine coma.

If it works, I may have discovered a new food I can eat.
If it doesn’t… I’ve got blackout curtains, meds, and a pre-written goodbye note to my central nervous system.